YAY

Yesterday was the first day since surgery that I got all of my fluid, my nutrition, my protein, my medicine, and my vitamins in!  I was so proud of myself.  Its a struggle and will be something I'll have to be constantly mindful of and will have to really focus and keep myself on a strict schedule with eating, drinking, and vitamins/meds.

Pushing my limits

Today has been my hardest day pain-wise that I've had since the first week of surgery.  It was my first day with no pain meds at all and also my first day back at work. Right after I got off of work (which I didn't think I was going to make it through), my mom was admitted to the hospital where I work.  I did more walking today than I would've liked and pushed myself through the pain.  The nerve damage in my back postop has been one of the biggest struggles.  My back pain today has been heightened with carrying my purse and my lunch box with my Isopures and fluids for the day. I was glad to be with my mom and sister and would do it again in a heart beat.  They have always been so steadfastly supportive to my ventures and my illnesses, that honestly, I would not have been anywhere else.  When I found out they were going to admit mom today, I had every intention of staying with her but she wouldn't hear of it.  She sent me and my sister both home to get some sleep.  

On my way home, I had a song running through my head - In My Daugther's Eyes by Martina McBride.  These lyrics kept repeating themselves in my mind and all I could do was drive and cry. 

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up

If I need inspiration, all I have to do is to take a look at the women that surround me.  My mom went back to school as an adult after raising her kids and got her degree and landed in a job she loves in a career that was made for her.  Shes the best mother that I could've ever asked for and she does anything and everything she can for me, whether her health will let her or not.  She pushes herself to be there for me.

My sister, who suffers from Lupus and fibro and lives in chronic pain.  She lives with my mom and takes care of her and our aunt in the nursing home.  She holds down a full-time job, which most of the time she works 7 days a week and still takes time to be there for me.  She works through her pain and supports me and anyone else who needs it no matter how she feels.

My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and raised three kids as a single parent in the 50's and then helped raise her grandkids.  Honestly, these are some of the strongest women I know.